A Flunky And His Aquaintance
by DarkMeow
Summary: A Flunky finds an odd person to play golf with... Oneshot


It was a normal day in Bossbot HQ. Cogs were either golfing, out defeating Toons, or just straight up doing their jobs. One cog, however, wasn't doing anything.

A Flunky sat dejectedly on a rotten tree stump at the edge of the Bossbot HQ courtyard, staring at the ground. A lonely golf club lay in the dead grass beside him. Although a few passing cogs cast glances at him curiously, they mostly just moved on to their other duties.

 _'Why can't the higher level cogs let me golf with them?'_ He thought, while pushing his oversized glasses back up his nose. After a moment of pouting unhappily, he stood up, and kicked the golf club angrily, and watched as it flew off into the bushes. An expression of shock and horror blanketed his face as he realized he had lost his only golf club.

Clawdia sighed as she wandered through the grey trees and bushes. She had no set destination in mind, but let her feet lead her to wherever they wanted to go. Although the trees became grayer and grayer, the dark blue cat either didn't' care, or just didn't notice.

 _'Stupid Toons, why can't I just golf with them?'_ she thought. Slowly, she became more and more absorbed in her mass of unhappy thoughts. Suddenly, a loud rustling noise from in front of her snapped her out of her reverie, and she stared forward, wide eyed and fearful. After a few minutes passed and nothing jumped out and said "Boo!", Clawdia's curiosity got the better of her, and she wandered forward cautiously, careful to not make any noise. However, her tall stature certainly wasn't helping her out stealth-wise.

As Clawdia was about to give up on her search, she saw the glint of something metallic. She slunk forward, and discovered a dejected golf club, lying near a completely dead bush. As she lifted it, Clawdia couldn't help but notice it was for a rather short person. Suddenly, from in front of, the loud sounds of something heading through the underbrush began, heading right for her. Clawdia dashed off as fast as she could, golf club in hand.

 _'Now I really can't golf!'_ He thought with a start. _'I gotta go find it!'_ Without a second thought, the Flunky headed off into the bushes, searching frantically. The further he went from the HQ, the greener and more livelier the bushes became, until it opened into a large clearing filled with golf carts. The Flunky frowned as he noticed a large gathering of chatting and laughing Toons in the center of the field.

Grumbling under his breath, the Flunky was about to turn around, when he spotted a Toon sitting off to the side by itself, examining a _very_ familiar golf club.

 _'Alright, I have two options. I can either go back to HQ and not receive a new golf club until I'm promoted, or I can get my golf club back somehow.'_ The Flunky mulled over these options for a little bit, weighing the possibilities. _'If I wait to be promoted, I'd have to do something worthy of promotion, by possibly fighting Toons in the streets and saddening them. It might be a while until I am promoted, and the chances of my person being destroyed is a great possibility. However, if I try to obtain my golf club from that blasted Toon, it might attack me when I least expect it."_

With a sigh, he made his decision, and he just _knew_ he was going to regret it too. Being as careful as a Flunky could be, he crept towards the side the Toon was on, carefully staying concealed in the bushes. He still made more noise than he wanted to, but the Toon seemed to be too lost in thought to notice.

As he got closer, he noticed something about the Toon seemed... off. Unlike the other Toons in the center of the clearing, this particular Toon was secluded off to the side. Strangely, the Toon's colours looked washed out, like a cog's suit that had been squirted with a seltzer bottle one too many times. The Toon appeared to be holding a paper, which was obviously preventing it from noticing his rather noisy arrival. Finally, after sneaking for about five minutes as carefully as he could, the Flunky was finally right by the Toon. With a deep breath, he prepared to get his beloved golf club back.

Clawdia stared at the piece of paper that pretty much explained why Toons never wanted to be around her. Just one piece of paper was all it took to give a simple reason to a complicated, maybe incurable, problem. For the thousandth time, her eyes swept over the paper, just _hoping_ that the words would somehow jump off the page and rearrange themselves into something far more pleasant. Although that wasn't impossible, this was a note that couldn't get any more serious if the C.E.O had written it himself.

' _Depression'_

 _'This informational sheet is written to inform the patient of the condition 'Depression.' The symptoms include the following:'_

 _Fading of colours_

 _Loss of Laff without the interference of cog attacks_

 _Going sad without the interference of cog attacks_

 _Serious demeanor_

 _Lack of will to support Toon cause_

 _'Although 'Depression' is a very serious illness, many Toons have found a way to cope with this disease. This particular disease is usually the result of a 'Paradigm Shift Attack' (usually administered by The Mingler or on occasion, a Spin Doctor), so it is advised to avoid these cogs in the future. Unfortunately, 'Depression' is mildly contagious, so it is advised that the patient avoid other Toons, and other Toons may avoid the patient. However, do not lose hope, as Toons will soon begin to interact with the patient once again after regaining their former happiness.'_

 _'Treatments for this disease include being pied in the face, or tickled at regular intervals. For extreme cases, complete isolation may be necessary.'_

Clawdia stuffed the paper into her pocket. Although regular treatments from a Laff doctor were advised, Clawdia had long since given up on them. The treatments would work for a short amount of time, but she would go right back to being washed out after about an hour or so. Clawdia scowled, and kicked at the grass with her shoe clad feet in frustration.

 _'Because of my stupid disease, I can't even find a stupid Toon to play golf with.'_ She thought to herself sourly. Clawdia sighed, and then returned her attention to the golf club, examining it with her pale green eyes. It was certainly useless to her, as it was obviously made for a person much shorter than her. Finally, after more inspection, she noticed some numbers and letters inscribed to the side.

 _'1837-0442. Huh, I wonder what that means...'_ She thought, rubbing one of her ears in thought.

"Hey, Toon!" Clawdia jumped to her feet in surprise, ears pulled back and her hand already plunged into her gag pouch. The voice had been too masculine and too robotic to be a Toon's. She stared off into the bushes, muscles taut, legs prepared to run at a moment's notice.

"Wh-who's there?" She asked carefully, avoiding drawing attention from the chattering Toons in the clearing behind her. Her hand still clutched the golf club, though her hands shook with apprehension and fear. After a moment, she thought she heard a groan of frustration.

"Just... come here." The voice said, laced with obvious frustration. Despite the fact every instinct inside Clawdia's mind was screaming "RUN," she walked forward slowly. When she got to the bushes, she parted them with one of her gloved hands and peered through. At first, there didn't seem to be anything there, but as Clawdia angled her head down, she came face to face with a wide-eyed Flunky.

The Flunky was not expecting the Toon to be so tall. After all, it looked short enough when it was sitting down, but after he looked up and his eyes met its, he realized it was a good foot taller than him. It almost intimidated him, but the Toon's eyes were wide with fear. This gave him enough courage to speak.

"I believe you have my golf club." He said curtly, eyes narrowing a bit at the Toon. At first the Toon didn't respond, and its eyes were darting around, as if it were thinking. Finally, after a minute of silence, it spoke.

"I'll give it back if you play a round of golf with me." The Toon said, its eyes suddenly narrowed with determination. Now it was his turn to be surprised. A Toon offering (well, more like forcing) a cog to play golf with it? It was unheard of!

 _'But what choice do I have? If I don't except, I simply won't get my golf club back, and it may even attack me.'_ He thought, nose scrunched up unhappily.

"Well?" It asked, its foot tapping impatiently. After a pause, he finally nodded his head, scowling.

"If you expect ME to play on one of YOUR chaotic golf courses, you're absolutely wrong! I don't want to explode you know." He said grumpily, eyes still narrowed. To his surprise, though, the Toon had shoved itself past him into the underbrush, headed in the direction of the Bossbot Headquarters.

"Where are YOU going?!" He asked. The Toon stopped, already about five feet ahead of him, and turned around.

"We're going to play golf at your headquarters. It would be stupid to play on MY golf courses, as the other Toons would obviously destroy you." Without a second sentence, the Toon turned back around and continued to walk towards the HQ. The Flunky shook the cold feeling that had washed over him, and followed the Toon warily. Although cogs and Toons were certainly not friends in any sense, this Toon seemed particularly cold. It walked with a stiffness quite unlike Toons, and its voice had an edge that seemed to lack happiness. Although his nervousness grew and grew, it was obviously too late to back out now.

After a few minutes of tramping through the underbrush, the foliage began to turn gray, and slowly everything became grayer and darker, until the Flunky was sure they were almost to the HQ. The Toon seemed to slow down a little, a relief to him, since his short legs had a tough time keeping up with the long-legged Toon. Finally, they halted completely at the edge of the HQ courtyard, still concealed in the bushes. Suddenly, the Toon turned around, and faced him with a scarily blank expression.

"Your turf, you get to choose the course." The Toon said flatly, staring at him with blank, emerald eyes. He thought for a second.

 _'I could choose one of the harder golf courses. It would be satisfying to watch my golf club's captor fail at their own deal.'_ With a slight smirk, he shoved past, gesturing for the Toon to follow him. After a few minutes of tramping through the underbrush, he finally found the golf course he was looking for. The Flunky and the Toon edged out of the underbrush, and he watched the Toon survey the course.

"Well then, let's get on with it." The Toon said after a moment, and they headed towards the first hole.

Clawdia observed the course the Flunky had chosen with an expert eye. Although she did not appear to be, she was actually quite the golf expert. The course that had been chosen would obviously be mildly challenging, probably to challenge herself, yet be easy enough for the Flunky to handle.

"Well, let's get on with it." She said, a curt edge to her tone. With that, they headed down to the first hole. After Clawdia examined it a little more, she realized it was quite similar to Toon golf courses, which were more like miniature golf than an actual golf course. _'Maybe he isn't good enough to actually play legitimate golf.'_ She sighed, unhappy that she wasn't going play _actual_ golf, but she shrugged it aside. After all, at least she had _something_ to play golf with.

"How are we supposed to do anything without golf clubs?" The Flunky asked. However, Clawdia was two steps ahead of him, and had already grabbed two golf clubs out of a seemingly bottomless backpack.

"Here." She said simply, handing a shorter golf club to the Flunky. He took it, although he appeared to dislike it, and looked it over with an unhappy expression.

"Fine." He grumbled. "I guess I'll go first." He fished a golf ball out of one of his pockets, and set it on the ground. He looked up at the course, surveying it, and then down at the ball, a look of utmost concentration written into his features. With one last glance at the course, and an experimental swing with his new golf club, the focused Flunky made his move and swung his club. At first, it appeared to be a hole-in-one, but the Flunky swung just a little too hard, and the ball rolled a few inches past the hole.

"The club is too light!" He grumbled whilst walking to the end of the course. Clawdia simply flicked her ears dismissively, plucked a ball out of her pocket, and waited until the Flunky was far enough off the course to take her stance. She glanced up at the course once, and then a second time, before hitting the ball carefully with her club. Ears twitching, she watched as the ball rolled right into the hole, earning her a hole-in-one.

The Flunky could barely stop his mouth from falling open. He had expected the strange Toon to be nothing more than a cocky, know-it-all Toon. However, the Toon obviously was more than that. It obviously wasn't just beginner's luck either, he had watched and analyzed the Toon's stance carefully, noting the expertise it conducted itself with. This was probably going to be more difficult than he previously anticipated.

"Are you going to finish this hole, or are you going to sit and stare into space all day?" The Toon asked irritably, shocking him out of his daze. Slightly embarrassed, he gently tapped his golf ball into the hole. The Toon flicked its ears irritably, then walked over to the next hole while he reclaimed his golf ball.

After a short amount of time of golfing in silence, Clawdia decided to break the ice a bit.

"So, do you have a name?" She asked the Flunky while they were walking to their next hole. The Flunky glanced up suspiciously, his bug-eyes now small slits. After a moment, wherein he appeared to contemplate what to say, he responded.

"Us cogs don't really have names, but we do have serial numbers. We use them to identify individuals." He replied, a suspicious tone present in his voice. After a second, he continued. "My serial number is 1837-0442, but since I'm sure that will be a bit difficult for a _Toon_ to remember, you may call me 37.

At his smug tone, Clawdia drew her ears back indignantly, and did her best to keep herself from flinging a Wedding Cake at him right there and then. "I shall refer to you by your proper serial number, _good sir._ " She said, barely repressed anger lacing her words. After a few minutes, Clawdia let out a small sigh, and stopped. The Flunky, noticing her sudden halt, turned around to face her.

"I'm Clawdia Snappenscratch, but since I'm _absolutely sure_ a cog couldn't remember that, I'll make it simple for you. You _MAY_ call me Clawdia." She said with a smug smirk. The Flunky rolled its eyes, but then they widened in surprise as she extended a gloved hand for a handshake. A moment of hesitance passed, and then Clawdia delivered a firm, strong handshake.

Clawdia focused intently on the course, a few beads of sweat making an appearance on her brow. She had no doubt in her capabilities, but the current course would be a tougher one since it was third-to-last hole. Getting a hole-in-one would certainly put her ahead of 1837-0442, though that probably wouldn't happen. A birdie would be fine too, but she was currently in a tie with the Flunky, and a hole-in-one would give her a significant advantage.

1837-0442 waited at the end of the course, checking his watch impatiently. "Are you going to hit the ball or not? I'm not getting upgraded at this rate!" He shouted while waving his golf club in the air agitatedly. Although the scene was quite competitive, it wasn't nearly as hostile as a Toon and a cog golfing usually would be.

Clawdia took a deep breath, steadied her arm, and hit the golf ball as precisely as she could. Her aim was true, but the ball stopped just short of the hole. With a frustrated twitch of her ears, she walked to the end of the course, and watched as 1837-0442 successfully earned himself a birdie. She walked up to her golf ball, and tapped it dismissively into the hole.

The odd pair made their way to the second-to-last hole. 1837-0442 glanced over at Clawdia, a question forming.

"Why did you want to play golf with me?" He finally asked, stopping and turning to face the Toon. Clawdia stopped and sighed deeply, before facing the curious Flunky. She rubbed her forehead with one of her hands.

"The truth is, the other Toons want nothing to do with me." She admitted, slightly embarrased. The Flunky squinted. "Do you care to elaborate?" He asked, still curious. Also, any input on Toons would definitely be an asset. Clawdia hesitated, nervous to share such personal info with a cog. _'Eh, what the heck, what'll a cog do with my health information as long as he doesn't know what causes it?'_

"I have a disease. It's called depression, and it's why I'm so..." Clawdia glanced down at herself. "So washed out looking. Because of this, other Toons avoid me, so I had no one to golf with. I figured you were as good a candidate as any, since, y'know, you're a _Bossbot._ " She said, eyes downcast. 1837-0442's eyes widened in surprise. He understood what Depression _was_ , he had just never seen a Toon who had it. Coincidentally, he also had nothing to say.

Clawdia shrugged, and started to walk towards the next course, her feet dragging slightly. Suddenly, 1837-0442 spoke up.

"I'm sorry." He said, though he didn't know why. Although he'd been stolen from, taunted, and blackmailed by this Toon, he felt sorry for it. To his surprise, Clawdia stopped, turned her head back to him, and gave him a small smile. And for once, he didn't want to wipe it off of a Toon's face.

It was the last hole. Somehow, they had managed to tie again, and Clawdia stared at her golf ball on the ground intently, as if it were the most beautiful thing in the world. She licked her dry lips, and aimed. Getting a good score here was crucial, or else the Flunky would win, and that would just be embarrassing.

 _'Focus, Clawdia!'_ She chanted to herself. Finally, she took a deep breath, aimed, and took the plunge. The golf ball seemed to roll in almost slow motion as it head towards the hole, almost magically avoiding obstacles along the way. And then, it rolled right into the hole, giving her a hole in one. Her ears stuck straight up in the air, and a grin to rival a Mr. Hollywood spread across her face. With that, she sauntered to the end of the course, fetched her ball, and glanced at the now shocked Flunky.

"Your move, I believe." She said, a smirk across her face. 1837-0442 rolled his eyes. "We both know you win." He said grumpily, before plucking his ball off the ground and pocketing it. He then approached Clawdia expectantly.

"Well, a deal's a deal." She said brightly, reaching into the seemingly bottomless bag and handing it to him. He grabbed it, examined it as if to check it wasn't injured, before propping it up against him.

"And here is your cheap golf club back." He said in reply. Clawdia pocketed the golf club with a roll of her eyes.

"Well... I can't believe I'm saying this... but I enjoyed it." Clawdia said, a small smile on her face. "Likewise." The Flunky said with a nod. He extended his hand, and Clawdia shook it warmly.

"Well, I guess it's time for me to head back." 1837-0442 said, with a glance of his watch. "I suppose so..." She replied, a thoughtful look on her face. Just as he turned to go, she spoke up. "Do you want to do this again sometime? Y'know, with a little more challenge?" She asked, slightly nervous. After a moment of consideration, he sighed and gave a small nod.

"Alright, what day and time then?" She asked, excitement mixed with her tone. Clawdia couldn't help but tap her foot slightly in excitement.

"How about... Thursday of next week?" He asked. Clawdia nodded eagerly. "Well, I'll see you around then!" She said cheerily, and with that, she was off, running towards Chip 'N Dales Acres.

But 1837-0442 noticed something slightly... different about the Toon. She walked with a skip in her step... and it may have just been his glasses, but she seemed just a bit... brighter.

FIN


End file.
